some un-emo stuff

HELLO HESTIA AHAHA i just read our blog bc cts are much burden and stress AND I REALISED THAT 80% OF OUR PREVIOUS POSTS CONSIST OF DEPRESSING STUFF AHAHAH idk whether its a good thing or nah bc like more people are updating the blog and sharing more stuff other than our np events(!!) bUT then what is the main point of this blog anyway. ALSO WHO CHANGED THE BACKGROUND TO SUCH A DARK ONE HAHAHA WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GREEN AND BLUE // at least red lah bc FIREEE HAHAHAH

ANW ON A MORE POSITIVE NOTE we have rly come very far since the first day ((also this phrase is v overused in our np life)) and some v un-encouraging words for yall HAHAH we only live once ((#yolo right)) so i hope that yall will live your life to the fullest!! dont be afraid of doing things that you want to do yes we are only young once and give up the things that you thing are important in your pursuit for good grades!! ((note i accidentally typed "grades" wrongly and my phone corrected it to grapes lmao good job phone)) HAHAHAH let us all not leave any regrets in this life yez love and hate to your heart's content!!

ALSO JIAYOU FOR COMMON TESTS all o level kidz AND CLC hestia HAHAHA

-dreamhighreachfar

Dead to the world

LIFE IS BORING.

PEOPLE ARE ANNOYING.

PLS KEEP QUITE,

I NEED SOME PEACE.

GO FIND OTHERS.

I DON'T WANT YOU HERE.

STOP BOTHERING ME,

I DON'T NEED ANOTHER PROBLEM.

Me right now with school and some people.

ZZZZ

So. Tired. Of. Everything. Sighzzzzz.

:(

Really really sad right now because I want to go for k9 so badly akdbjsdbh my ambition since like primary school was to join the k9 after NP :((((((((( or a zoologist but now I have npap like it's making me miss out clc day 2, k9 and so many stuff I don't even know anymore

-hooman whose primary school dream is to join np and k9

Cheer up

I just wrote down some depressing shit jn so I shall try to cheer myself up with... ya
So this guy is rlly gd at rap n his name is ....... BOBBYY yas gd job
Ya he's rlly cool n stuff but his rapping n dancing n smile and evrything is ze best (i shldnt use this to rant but ya this is necessary procedures) he's frm this kpop grp called ikon. Ok I lack at using vocabularies to express myself with words so I will give up and go study for History

Us

I wasn't really reading the posts for a few days but thn just read today and I wish I hadn't. Everything is too relatable and although I had those exact same thoughts in my head, it was bearable because I can choose what I want to analyse in my head and what I choose to ignore. But when it's all written plainly, it just hits me hard and suddenly and it's all just sad. That people have to leave you eventually. Like humans are suppose to stay away from things that threaten our survival and so it only makes sense that we protect ourselves from getting hurt.
But why is that even though everybody knows that everyone will eventually leave you, be it because of death of separation ir whatsoever, we still let ourselves get close to each other and subject ourselves to the inevitable pain that comes after?
Even though we will all be leaving each other eventually, we still choose to ignore that because this moment is what counts. The fact that you have actually let down your guard and let yourself potentially get hurt by someone is you letting people in.
Hestia is a squad and it always will be. No matter what happens. So guys whatever time we have together lets all cherish it and make the best of it. I can predict 2 occasions when I'm definitely going to cry because those 2 times, it will hit me again how much I love you people and how close we are to the end of it all no matter how much we deny it. At the end of CLC, it's going to mark a new beginning for Hestia and Ma'ams will POP almost as soon as CLC is over so even though I cannot imagine a life without Ma'ams, I'll try to survive. Thanks Hestia for everything.

Hestia, saranghae 💕💕

This is from the person in the squad you shipped with Consent Forms, to her most beloved bunch of people that stuck with her through thick and thin in school, Hestia:

I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble;

I was just praying for a miracle.

I’m sorry.

I didn’t want us to go wrong,

Neither did I want the future batches to follow the wrong footsteps.

I have to say,

This isn’t only about administrative accountants;

But it entangles potential big issues in our campus, too.

I have to say,

It wasn’t only myself that I thought about.

Hestia was the reason I wanted to stay behind.

They asked me,

“What do you like so much about that ‘uniform’ group?”

I said, “The bonds I made, the skills I learnt, but definitely not the things that made it ‘uniformed’.”

They asked me, again,

“Why do you want to stay?”

This time, I said nothing, because I knew the bonds I’ve built, cannot be put into words.

I’m sorry,

But I love you all.

we can count the number of parades left with both hands

hello peng yous!

so there are eight parades left with ma'ams (including pop) fml i can't imagine parades without ma'ams, or even our unit, without ma'ams ಥ⌣ಥ

even though i feel really sad (i think most of you are, too) i really hope we will make the most of these few parades left, and show ma'ams that their hard work and guidance have paid off! we only have about 24 hours of parades (including pop, understudy etc.) left so we must cherish it ok!

i'd also like to raise a subject that i think is quite important to our squad (idk)? i really hope everyone will be committed to np just as we are committed to our studies WAIT WAIT BEFORE YOUR PROTEST i know it's difficult i also know i'm probably 57% committed to my studies and 43% committed to np but i'm really working on being just as committed to both parts of my life AND i know most of you are really busy and have other (more important?) commitments but ma'ams are going to pop really soon ( 　ﾟ,_ゝﾟ) and i think it's really important that we all work together and put our heart and soul in making sure we keep the cedar np flag flying high ok! (◕‿◕✿)
(i'm not saying nobody is committed ok! i'm just sharing my thoughts and that i'm aware of how i can play my part to help ahahah pls don't be offended or take it wrongly ok!)

aLSO what happens to nitrogen when the sun rises
it becomes daytrogen lMAO

have fun pengyous week 8 alr
jiayou ok and good luck to all oal noms esp!

much hugs many loves
epep 

?!?! T.T

Okay so today fuzzy, jannah and I had oac refresher and it was fun until we hit campfire dept and had to sing. So everything was fine too. BUT!!! WE HAD TO SING LINGER AND THE LYRICS JUZ... JUZ... ya noe it juz hit me and everything registered in my brain again. TT 8 PARADES N THE FEELS. Juz hearing tt song made me feel sad... N I HAD TO SING!!! The feels man. (Hey our clc cf character) then I became a bit emo. But had to force myself to smile n act LIK I'm super gay. N I was so tired after tt cuz acting SUCKS. I'm an introvert BTW. So acting is a pain. But hey I've been doing it for more than half of my life. PLS DON'T SING LINGER BY YOURSELF K. U WILL FEEL SAD WHEN U ACTUALLY LISTEN TO THE LYRICS. THEN U CRY BY URSELF WHICH IS BAD. LET'S CRY AS A SQUAD N SING IT TGT. (When ma'ams pop or whenever u want to do it or let's not do it at all cuz it's sad)

Try guess who me is

????

Only 8 more parades with ma'ams??????????? What is happening we have grew more attached to ma'ams than we thought we ever will be this is so saddening I think I will cry like today when ma'am announced that we only had 8 more parades it was damn sad like single digit what even and also so many things have been happening recently much mixed emotions like mixed rice nah jabshzjsjsj we need to cherish the times <3

-flag best 

💪

less than 2 months into 2016 and we alr have like 40 something posts
#hestianeedsalife (not the wooden one) HAHAHA

so we had classification shoot today and i know some of us are feeling down bc didnt get marksmen/didnt meet expectations/had regrets etc. and there are also some of us who are feeling stressed bc cts or just going thru alot
i know that "its okay" wont be any more than a simple phrase and it wont help much w what yall r feeling but i want yall to know that there are 14 other ppl u can rely on plus squad blog (if u feel like u r comfortable expressing ur feelings here) so dont keep anything to urselves ok
this wasnt meant to be so sad
anyway, jiayou okay hestia we can get through anything!!
(deleted and retyped so many things)

ps. buy reset on itunes jk im not xinyi

(actl idek if this song is on itunes)

wyd victoria

ok not the best at this kind of things but yeah

ALSO i realised u cant see my post title (or is it just my com) but its the flexing emoji 

*Skip if u don't wanna feel sad*

WARNING!!! IT'S AN EMOTIONAL RANT THAT SUDDENLY POPPED INTO MY HEAD AND WAS MAKING ME A BIT SAD SO I HAD TO TYPE IT OUT.

Have you guys ever thought about the future? What will happen to you? Have you ever looked back? N not regret your decisions? Well, I have done all those. But even as I regret some of my decisions, I realize 1 important fact. Without making those choices, I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be what I am today. Nowadays, I look back to the past and laugh about the memories that I had with my brothers. These are not much. In fact, there is very little that I remember about interacting with my eldest brother in past. The things that I remember are so vague that at times, it might have been just dream that was so vivid.

I realize that as we grow older, we become more and more tainted. We become easily irritated and think that there is a deeper meaning to our friends' actions and words. When I look back, I saw myself trusting what my peers said, never doubting them. But as I grew, I become more and more suspicious of everyone. I held people at arms length, only letting them in bit by bit. Sometimes I wonder why do we have secrets? Why do we lie? Why do we not trust others willingly anymore? Does these have to do with our age or our experience or maybe even both? What can we do to bring us back to when we were young? The time when we were all not judgemental.

No one judged me for hanging around boys more than girls. No one judged me for always playing on the boys side during ice and water. No one judged me for studying with boys in my centre. No one judged me for playing with a guy. But that all changed when I hit P5. People judged me for being and doing all those. And I have to admit. The one thing that I regret most, is for letting the rumours about our friendship being a relationship get to us. I regret not cherishing our friendship more. I regret not doing anything and just sitting there letting the disaster strike. I regret being a coward who didn't know how to apologise. I regret losing the one friend who I would have counted a close one if not for what had happened. I may not regret my choices, but that is one thing that I really regret. But that is also the thing, that made me change. For better or worse, I still don't know. A few of you may know who I am talking about. But it doesn't matter. For we used to be friends. But what are we now? No more than strangers to me.

sudden parade after fifty years

hello pengyous!
how are you ahahha pls take care of yourselves ok! don't fall sick (or try not to)!

we just turned two! (as a squad!)

we finally had actual parade lolzor first parade of 2k16!!1! i think it was quite ok (??)

it was my new years resolution to post here every week now i have no idea what to say about last week lmao help

but anyway! classification shoot is in five days! jiayou pengyous pls come for apt to train your forearm mUScles (i doubt two apts will make a lot of difference?) (but still pls come ok) so we can hold the revolver v tightly and not tremble (??) idk aahahah 

also the next few weeks/months/yEars will be quite busy for all of us (i think?) so jiayou ok if you have anything you want to say just say it (you can talk to me AHAHAH i know i may not be like the most approachable person and i may not give the best advice but i will listen and try my best to comfort you without sounding like a chikopek OR you can just tell the whole squad) and get it off your chest, and if you need a shoulder to cry on just cry on one (you can cry on mine im quite short but i can stand on a chair?? i dont even know anymore BASICALLY i'm just trying to say that we will always be here for you?? pls pardon me ok it's quite late and my brain stopped functioning last year sorry).

"now don't lose your fight, kid, it only takes a little push to pull on through"
- atl (buy missing you on itunes or stream it on spotify!1!1! by all time low!)
yes all of us will be together and you can always count on us so keep your chin up ok! 

"we're all in this together"
- hsm (troy and gab my otp forever pls come back pLS YOU WERE MY FIRST OTP WHEN I WAS SIX AND YOU SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED AFTER HSM3 whY??? and zac is still v hot??? and vanessa is still vvv hot??? doesn't it make sense??? two hot people??? someone get them back together pls???)

and 2016 is going to be such an exciting year?? so many tours and so many things are going to be released i am unstable???? like an electron??? haha sorry

ok this is becoming a train wreck AHAHA JOKE THE TRAIN WRECK IS ME i am going to stop now i'm very sorry

also vday is tomorrow and im sure all of us are single lmao we can celebrate it together!1!1!
are you a calculator
because i know i can count on you
(ok i have so many pickup lines ok but for fob and patd and good charlotte and mcr omg i am going to force you to listen to them on monday AHAHAHH jkjk pls still come for apt ok ahahah)

many hugs
pepe (pengyous it is peh-peh not pehp ok pls ahahahahha)

ok this is becoming a train wreck now i am going to stop sorry

:P

Sup I hadn't been here for so long and I am glad to say that our squad is transiting from a squad that doesn't really care to a squad that loves np alot!!!! Anyways yesterday I went to kk again yupp cny totally sucked for me because my dog bit me ended up with 4 wounds urgh anyways here to tell y'all the practicality of first aid!!!abrasion, laceration ,puncture wounds are used in real life hee because I got all of them whoops 😁 anyways yea if u read up on your cc manual you will learn what to do with these wounds which I thought would never happen in real life like puncture wounds sounds so foreign right like oh we will never get these kind of wounds but I did so now you know I hope you will like first aid more :)

-flag first aid and evac enthusiast



P.s. really looking forward to Wednesday with yall :)which is tmr BTW:))))))

Happy thoughts

Sup peeps I'm bored at home and I juz got back from a awesome nice day (not really) but definitely an awesome movie to end the day with!!! FYI: U can find me n my family in tampinese golden village every first day of cny. Cuz it's the way we roll :) Anyway, I'm sure you guys should know by now that I hate dresses with a passion. So don't even think about seeing me in a dress (unless prom cuz I will be forced into it) that's why, I'm not wearing a dress during cny. I'm wearing skorts(is this even correct? I heard it somewhere).

Anyway, I hate dresses cuz I love moving around and dresses hinder it. It's a pain in my butt to not move. And I have to sit nicely which is super annoying.

BACK TO HAPPY THOUGHTS!!! So today was cool with the ang paos and the many cans of abalone that I ate. (All my meals had abalone) N I had my Bro help me with math cuz I suck at tt topic and my brain wasn't really working well. Looks like he threw some of the stuff back to his teacher after going to NS. But he's still smarter than me. So yea asking him is better and I'm helping him k. At least he can revise before going to uni after NS. OK I'm tired and sleepy and even more bored. Byez. Tmr is a pants day cuz going to factory. Let's see if can sit lorry tmr. If not join my cousins in a car and get one of them to drive. OK I'm gonna go now. Byez

Hestia' Birthday

Today is Hestia's birthday. Somehow, I never really noticed this date for the past 2 years I've been in this squad but I think now you guys have are too significant in my life to ignore.
I suddenly got reminded of the fact that even though we are going to take over, that we are not in CC finals, we only have 2 more years together, at least for those in O'lvl. How I didn't realise that till now, I have no idea.
We should treasure the times we have had with each other instead of regreting over what those memories could have become. I am extremely sad that what we have gone through together since now is no longer the present but a memory. And we should all remember them where ever we are 10 years later. Through this, I can clearly conclude that thinking about the future sucks because it makes you depressed and over think which I is definitely unhealthy. 
But what I am trying to say is, even though 2 years may seem like a long time,  it will pass by quickly. I still can't believe that it has been 2 years already since joining cedar (time passes really fast). And technically, it's not even 2 years. It's just 1.5 years at most because we need to stop in the middle of secondary 4.
So guys we need to give it our best. let's train our juniors so that they can do what we couldn't.  We might have failed for now but let's use that failure and look at it positively. Let's help our juniors achieve what we couldn't.
Jia You, Cedar.
-F

new month!

hello hestia!

how are you! ☺
do you feel better! (｡◕‿◕｡)
are you drinking enough water! ヅ
are you getting enough sleep! ᵔᴥᵔ
are you eating enough! ٩◔‿◔۶
hope you're ok! ت

perhaps you are still feeling a tinge of disappointment (who isn't? it's alright - we all have feelings), but keep your chin up ok! we'll have more opportunities to keep the cedar flag flying high. let's take it as a learning opportunity; and build on our good points, while making sure that we do not make the same mistakes again. we can use our experience to guide our juniors in the future, and make sure they do us all proud.

i'm sure we'll always keep these wonderful memories, and continue making even more in time to come! (◕‿◕✿)

don't worry too much, children, it's going to be okay! when life gives us lemons, let's make lemonade! ◉◡◉

you meme so much to me
i love you more than pepe

many many hugs (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ
brendon urie trash since '01

The Beginning of everything

Hey Hestia,

Today we found out (kind of) that we weren't in the finals for CCC.

To be honest, right now I don't really feel anything. I think I haven't really accepted reality yet, but when it does come it will hit home, hard.

I'm sure all of us feel this way,
some of us already feeling mild depression (or maybe a big depression)
some of us maybe nothing, for now.

But we will, because it is sad.

For the past month and December, all of us trained hard and long, and I really thought that we would get in. I daresay that I thought we were better than ma'ams in the CCC 2012 video on Youtube. I was quite confident that both teams would get in, I think many of us were quite sure too.

We lost. But we didn't fail.

Through the past two months, we forged stronger bonds between one another, gained much greater appreciation for ma'ams, bonded with ma'ams, had lots of fun, upped our standard, gained muscles, gained experience and transited into a love CC squad.

Honestly tell me, if that's not something, then what is? We may not have won anything this time round, but this should only make us more determined to stand up stronger and taller than before. Granted, we're allowed to, cry, mourn, over our loss. Yes, do that. But only for a day, or two.

THEN GET BACK UP.

We'll be taking over soon. We have to remain strong and united to train and help the next batch of CCC people and squads to become independent and resourceful, just like how our Iris, Zephyr and Astraia ma'ams have helped us to grow.

We lost the battle, But we won't lose the war.

Let's get back up, buck up and aim to get into the finals for next competitions (like shooting huehue)

CCC marked the end of something great. But it also marks the start of something which we play a very important role in.

Jiayou Hestia! We can do this!

Dream high, reach far
Hestia's ze best

- :)